Pride vs. Humility

Leadership

This is a lesson if you’re guessing and if you’re borrowing
Hurry hurry step right up and keep following the leader

Rakim

This one is personal to me. We are going to explore the battle between humility and pride in regard to leadership. I fight with this now more than ever before and it’s a common struggle for both men and women of all ethnicities and at all levels of leadership. Pride in oneself can be both a gift and a curse when it comes to leadership and your career. Pride helps pick you up and gives you the hubris to walk in the door and appear confident; however, I believe you learn and grow, most often, though humility, which begs the question, “Does pride ever have a place in decision making or does it always lead to a fall from grace?”

In today’s world, awash with social media, humility may seem a lost art, or most certainly one on the verge of becoming lost to humanity. Whether you agree or not, you may be thinking humility doesn’t have a place in leadership, where confidence and pride seem to be requirements. The truth is confidence is not the same as pride, and humility and confidence work best when they work hand in hand.  

So, just what is humility? C.S. Lewis, Academic and Author, explained it well, when he said, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” Recent studies agree, true humility means you know your strengths as well as your weaknesses, and can see your value in the bigger picture, seeking to contribute with your strengths, and growing from your weaknesses. Humility at its core is equally capable of grounding and freeing you. Research has also demonstrated humble humans have a greater capacity for critical thinking, a leg up, if you will, in identifying truth. And to think I used to get mad in high school when my friends called me humble. Turns out, humility is at the core foundation of great leaders, who in their own quest for learning and growth, encourage others to do the same. Humble leaders are more open-minded, inclusive, and innovative; solution seekers who are exceptional mentors.

Let’s explore another question, “does leading with pride come from a feeling of being disrespected?” It is a question each individual will need to answer, well, individually. For me the answer, quite possibly, may be founded in my professional struggle with Imposter Syndrome, situations in which my pride takes over because I realize I know what I am stating but don’t  feel the support needed to proceed with confidence.

The term “Imposter Syndrome” was created by Pauling Clance and Susanne Innes, psychologists, who described the syndrome as, “phoniness in people who believe they are not intelligent, capable, or creative despite evidence of high achievement” and while they “are highly motivated to achieve” they “live in fear of being ‘found out’ or exposed as frauds.”

It would seem Imposter Syndrome and disrespect, real or perceived, could result in leading with pride rather than confidence in your knowledge, achievements, and self. And that is where pride and confidence part ways – confidence is knowing yourself, your capabilities, and your accomplishments. Confidence, unlike pride, can partner with humility and help others gain their own confidence while continuing on its own road to greater success. Pride, on the other hand is arrogant, vain, envious, and domineering.

No, even though many in leadership positions are prideful. No one likes a proud leader so you have to reign it in. Why? A proud leader is blind to his/her weaknesses. Pride destroys effectiveness, extinguishes collaborative team efforts, and stunts company growth and potential. Remember confidence is not pride and pride, like humility, is habit.

How can you tell if you are a prideful leader or a humble leader? Human nature pulls humans toward pride (self-focus), not humility (others-focus). Here are a few of the common characteristics of each to help you access where you are:

• Prideful leaders feel entitled, always assuming they are more intelligent than every person in any room and they work harder than everyone else in the company. Humble leaders are grateful for what they have achieved and knowing this want to help others achieve as well, for the good of the company or community.
• Proud leaders grasp at accolades, positions, and perks. They enjoy and expect to be served. They enjoy being in the spotlight and are unwilling to share it. Humble leaders serve and use their position and perks in generosity toward others. They share credit, developing leaders along the way and celebrating the successes of others.
• Prideful leaders are close-minded. They feel they have nothing to learn from those “beneath” them (status, achievement, education, etc.) and refuse to learn from those of whom they are envious (those “above” them). Humble leaders know they can learn from anyone because everyone is unique, with different life experiences and education, regardless of their current “rung” on the ladder.
• Proud leaders shift blame toward others, always seeking to preserve their image. Humble leaders admit to mistakes and are accountable, traits which have been shown to increase workplace performance.

Are you leaning toward humility and confidence or arrogance and pride? Humility is easier for some than others, but it can be learned.

Taking steps toward humility means taking steps away from pride, though human nature draws us toward it. The first step is listening to others, not listening to respond, but listening to listen Listening leads to dialogue and communication leads to learning and growth. Next, humble people know how to deal with criticism as a way to improve and grow or throw it off if it is unfounded. They also know how to take a joke. Humility is selflessness. How? Humble people know their value and as a result are secure and confident. Back to the first step, humble leaders aren’t micro-managers. They don’t have to be because they have mentored a team filled with other humble, confident critical thinkers.

What steps do you need to take toward becoming a better leader?