Is it Harder to be 6’8” or Black?

We only know what we know until someone knows better.

Chance the Rapper

Okay, actually I’m 6’7 ¾” so it’s easier to say 6’8”. Interestingly, ever since I grew to 6’4” people have been fascinated by my height. For a long time, the constant questions about my height and whether I played basketball or could dunk bothered the hell out of me. Over the years I developed a quick retort to the questions just to make people think. Something like, “No, I don’t play basketball, but I play field hockey” or “I was a jockey when I was younger but then I got too tall.” It is fantastic when little kids ask how tall I am because I love the curiosity in their eyes and the response I get when I reply, “I’m not tall you are just short.” LOL!!! I know its kind of mean, but it’s fun to interact.

In the business world, I have adapted to my height and my color very differently. Why? I am usually one of the only black people in the room and nearly always the only black person of height. I am usually wearing a suit and tie and since I am quite introverted – I am quiet. Even though I have deejayed, played basketball, and now am often found doing interviews, I don’t seek attention. I have learned my physical stature combined with my personality can be perceived as intimidating. So, often, I walk into rooms and immediately sit down or become the consummate wall flower (just like in high school) in social settings. But because of how I am dressed or due to the fact that I look different – I am found.

The point is I get a lot of questions. So, while at a birthday party, I was surprised to see a colleague of mine enter the room. He immediately sought me out and began talking. We were having a fantastic conversation and then he asked if he could ask me a few questions. It was a relaxed environment and I said, “Sure.” He quickly began asking me very different questions. Once he found out I grew up overseas he asked how I had been able to learn the languages. He asked how my thoughts work when translating between languages. Then he asked about my adjustment to the U.S. in particular questions centered around acceptance and race relations. I explained to him it was a rough transition because I hadn’t been exposed to much racism prior to moving back to the U.S. My parents had done a good job of shielding my siblings and I from it, plus my dad as an American was an early basketball star in Europe in the 70s. I explained to him that growing up my summers were spent in South Central Los Angeles, the Fillmore and Hunter’s Point in San Francisco, and Meadowview in Sacramento.

He soon began fidgeting and told me he wanted to ask another question but didn’t know how. I said just ask because I was fascinated by the questions he had asked so far because they were so different than anything anyone had ever asked. Then he asked, “Is it harder to be 6’8” or black?” Whoa! That blew my mind. My thoughts started swirling back to the first time I was called a nigger by a kid in my neighborhood and not knowing how to respond. They moved rapidly to my coaches in college who didn’t believe I was capable of writing a letter to advocate for myself and who thought I had someone write it for me. My mind then ran to the time I was representing the state, and was told it was okay if I didn’t understand the presentation at the biotech incubator in San Francisco by someone who didn’t realize I wanted to be a chemical engineer in high school or that I found it refreshing to be back in a science-based environment. Then my thoughts went to my leadership class in 2015 where I was told minority leaders should seek to assimilate and disarm higher ups in order to not intimidate. And again – whoooooooa!!!

I paused and then thought again about my teacher in that leadership class not being able to respond to my question, “so, you are telling us not to be intimidating and assimilate, right? What do you advise for a 6’8” black man?” That was and is the question before me, though stated differently. Before I answered him, I wanted to make sure I answered in the most thoughtful way possible. Do I dive in deep to race relations and the history of it all? Do I keep it simple so as to not make it uncomfortable for those listening? Or do I sincerely answer the genuine question before me?

I chose to sincerely answer the question and be vulnerable in the moment. I began explaining you could separate the two, but in reality they were inextricably linked and dependent on the environment. I explained that when I walk into a room the automatic assumption is I played basketball, which is fine but quite a few assumptions are made at that moment by whoever is standing in front of me. I usually tell people what I do, which then leads down the path of “well how did you start doing that?” This is then followed closely by “Chief Innovation Officer…hmmm…What are you innovating?” And “Are you an engineer?”

In the past, I have felt uncomfortable answering those questions because I am a Studio Art major and people often make snap judgements about the combination of being an athlete with that major. Today, I answer much more confidently even though I am constantly dealing with bouts of Imposter Syndrome. So, I continued to answer my colleague’s question, explaining, “because of the assumptions made on the spot, people find it easy to dismiss what I am saying and doing or even all I have accomplished throughout my career.”

I continued pointing out the other side of it is the threat I present because of the attention and respect I have in California’s innovation, entrepreneurship, and economic development ecosystem. I have worked for 10 years as an Executive Appointee under both a Republican and a Democrat Governor. I am an internationally raised, multi-lingual, well-dressed, well-spoken, knowledgeable black man walking into a traditionally white male dominated environment. I realize I literally shake up every single status quo.

I told him I have learned to try to make people comfortable by sitting down when I walk into a room. I don’t talk about my accomplishments unless asked and even then, I downplay them. I try not to show emotion for fear of being perceived as an “Angry Black Man.” Then, I laughed at the fact that because of the lack of emotion, being quiet almost seems to scare people even more. I paused and noticed how intently he was listening to my response. I ended by saying there is so much more and would love to talk more with him at a later date. I then thanked him for asking the question.

I thought it was such an amazing conversation and so appreciated him being comfortable enough to ask. The fact is black men of any size have historically been depicted as dangerous and a threat to society in the U.S. This has to change but doesn’t show any signs of doing so soon. Sure, we are tremendous athletes and entertainers, but we are also tremendous fathers, thinkers, leaders, and more. It’s a shame it still needs to be explained in 2020, but we need to talk – to ask questions, and seek understanding.